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October 7th, 2009
04:00 pm
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/bored_sr.gif) bored
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June 24th, 2009
02:17 pm - The Past always catches up to you..
It’d been about four years since Lindsey left Los Angeles and never looked back. Right after he left LA he went home for a little while and did some odd jobs here and there to accumulate some more money, after too long though he grew tired of his old life that he’d had before he’d ever heard the name Wolfram and Hart. After he left his hometown again for the second time he did some traveling and trying to gather any information he could on the Senior Partners. He was hoping to be able to get enough Intel on them so that he could get out of his contract.
After he’d grown bored with the traveling he finally settled down in New York City, Manhattan specifically. He got himself a job at a non-evil law firm, although he wasn’t really sure such a think existed. So for the last year he’d taught himself how to avoid things from his past life in LA, and he was doing a damn fine job too, except when it came to one Lilah Morgan. Lindsey loved his life in New York he real did, his only real complaint was the smell of hot dogs from the venders that seemed to come from every damn corner of the city. He had a great job as a defense attorney in one of the best law firms in Manhattan, a super posh pent house on the Upper East Side, a Mercedes convertible, and possibly the best girlfriend in the world or so people on the outside thought.
In reality though, Lindsey wasn’t happy in his current relationship with Roxanne. Sure she was a gorgeous supermodel and she liked him, but lately he was finding her insufferably boring. It didn’t help matters that all she talked about was her work, or the fact that he kept having dreams about Lilah. The dreams were of things they’d done or said in all the years he’d spent working with her, as well as other things that he’d never done with her. Lindsey’d been lucky so far though and hadn’t slipped up and said Lilah’s name at any point when he was with Roxanne. He knew though that it was bound to happen sooner or later, and the more Lilah crept into his thoughts during the day and his dreams at night he found himself truly regretting the fact that he’d left without saying goodbye to her.
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May 16th, 2008
10:57 am - Life on the other side isn't always greener
It's been a few months now since I saved those blind kids from Vanessa Brewer. I'd been given a choice that night, either go back to the only place I'd ever felt like a god, or switch sides and try to make a difference. It felt damn good to help someone who really needed it for a change. So I kept the copies I had of the files, and turned down Holland's offer to stay. I'd waited until Holland had left for his new office, took one last look at the place I'd called home for the last few years, and then walked out the door.
Anyway since then I not only left what team Angel likes to call the root of all evil, but I left Lilah behind. This in the grand scheme of things isn't so terribly, especially since all we ever amounted to was a drunken one night stand that since it happened has never been talked about. I've been here at Angel Investigations for a little over two months and I love it here. Cordy still seems to be the only one willing to really give me a chance, though the others are slowly coming around. Angel and I fight almost constantly about how we should approach certain cases though.
Like tonight's case for instance, we'd found out about a ritual sacrifice that was going down in the warehouse district that the firm happens to own some of. I keep telling him that we should wait and see if my contact gets back to us, but oh no, mister hit things first ask questions later can't be bothered to wait that long! Because here we are sitting outside the place with Gunn, who when we started the fight agreed with me, until, Angel said no then Gunn fell right into line with our 'fearless leader' here. I swear it's days like this that I wonder if leaving was a good idea, although working for Angel isn't near as bad as working for Wolfram And Hart.
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10:56 am - Who knew things could be this great?
I woke up early the next moring around seven, the events from last night still running through my head. I quietly and carefully untangled myself from Lilah. I didn't want to wake her,since I know she's not a morning person, reguardless of the circumstances. I quietly made my way from her bedroom, down the hall and into the kitchen.
Once I was in the kitchen I looked around for food and the basic kitchen utensil's one would need for cooking any breakfest food. After searching around for a few mintues, I finally found everything I needed. Not long after that I had toast, O.J.,a fresh hot pot of coffee, and fluffy strawberry pancakes cooking on the stove.
Cordy still hadn't called at all yet; so I figured I'd stay long enough to make and have breakfest with Lilah,before going home to shower and change for work. I also still had no idea what exactly last night had meant as far as were I stood with her, or the firm.
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10:55 am - Some kind of Wonderful....
It's been over four weeks since I told Lilah I loved her her, and she said it back with no real hint of fear. Work's been getting better and Lilah's adjusted to my trying to balance being with her and having to work. I'm still kind of pissed that the firm is treating her like crap though, I'm so tempted to do something about it,to make them see that she's too good for the crap jobs they keep giving her because I refuse to bend to their will anymore.
Tonight though I had a break from work and decided to do something romantic for Lilah. Earlier this week I'd had the day off so I took the time to look through the stuff she thinks I don't know about, her things from home. I found a picture of her in ice skates and smiled,she was a cute kid. After finiding the picture I found a local ice rink, and rented it out for the night. I was going to surprise her with it. I can't really skate to save my life,but I bet she's a natural,guess we'll find out when she gets my note.
I left her the note telling her to wear something warm and felxible. I also wrote down the address of where I wanted her to meet me. After that I left to go get some roses and some chinese take out that I knew she loved.
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10:54 am - Can't wait for some semblance of normal....
Ever since she found out that she was pregnant, life with Lilah's gotten a hell of a lot more interesting. If I thought she was more a bitch at times before ragging hormones have just uped the scale. I swear at times it feels like I'm living with,Cruella Devil. That's on the days where I can't seem to do anything right, and have her throwing things at me.
Lilah may have one hell of a good aim,but luckily I know how to duck. I'm not the only one feeling the tension in the house though, Amber's taken to hiding in the closet on the shelf and hissing whenever I try to get her down.
On the upside though I've gone through so many sleepless nights as of late I've become good at helping with research. The firm's called her a few times in the past week, and between the yelling and cryin' fits I've end up screaming down the phone at them myself. It got so bad one morning that I'd finally had enough and against Lilah's protests of if I went to the offices to deal with them I'd be shot I went anyway. Three hours of arguing,shooting Linwood's prized painting full of holes,and threatiung to kill him I got Lilah her old job back.
I have no idea if she'll even be happy to have her old job as Vice President of Special Projects back, but I at least feel better. I came home from the grocery store with everything she'd asked for and then some. I set the bags down on the kitchen counter. "Lil?" I called out hoping that she was in a better mood.
Current Location: Our den
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/angry_sr.gif) aggravated
Current Music: Cruella Devil-Selena Gomaz
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10:52 am - Leave The Pieces When you go....
Things with Lilah had gone from bad to worse quicker than I thought they would. I'd moved out and into a room at the Hyperion and just threw myself into my work. I still thought about her everyday, even though I tried not to. No matter what I did to stop thinking about her, though it was never enough.
So I spent my days drinking a little and doing paperwork, and my nights out hunting with the team, and trying not to get killed. I just hope that this distance and time apart will do me some good, and I really hope that Lilah and the baby are alright. The gang told me not to worry so much about it, and that it was probably for the best. I don’t exactly agree with them about that, but I’m not sure going back to try and talk to her this soon is a good idea either. Lilah needs space and some time to sort things out, and I can wait as long as it takes for her to do it.
Current Location: My room at the Hyperion
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/sad_sr.gif) depressed
Current Music: I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore--REO Speed Wagon
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10:51 am - Long day gets worse....
I'd left Lilah with Aidan for the day while I spent the better half of the day at work. We'd spent a few hours reviewing cases and double checking leads for our latest demon infestation case. I'd helped Cordy out with the research and filing for most of the day.
Later about night fall we'd managed to find the demon's hide out and hone in all guns a blazing. I fought near Cordy, then after that was all over, I grabbed a quick shower at the hotel, then went home to see Lilah and Aidan. I didn't think I could miss two people so much, until now.
I walked in the door a few hours later and was met with a very pissed off looking wife, and Aidan wasn't with her, so I assumed that he was in the nursery. “Whatever it is I didn’t do it, I’ve been at work all day.” I told her hoping that it’d make ‘I’m a dead man’ feeling in the pit of my stomach go away.
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/achy_sr.gif) nervous
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10:49 am - Trying to reason with her... For: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) xwhenyouregonex
Trying to reason with one Lilah Morgan is like trying to talk to a brick wall at times. I'd spent the last few nights alone in a motel room thinking about Aidan and my issues with Lilah. I'd gotten off work early and decided to stop by and see Lilah.
I decided to call and make sure she wasn't at the office first,before dropping by the house and just missing her. I dialed her cell and waited for her to pick up. I just hope that she's in a fairly good mood.
Current Location: My car headed home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/happy_sr.gif) hopeful
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10:47 am - End of the world Maybe?? For: xwhenyouregonex
The last few days at the office had been more stressful, than when I'd worked at the firm. I tried to spend as much time as I go at home with Lilah and Adian. Lilah was sort of speaking to me, at least when I was home. I knew that the apocolpyse was near, or so all the signs kept saying. I came home to a huge welcome from Adian. He ran over and hugged me. "Daddy!" I smiled,picked him up and ruffled his hair a bit. "Hey buddy, where's Mommy?"
Current Location: Living room
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/working_sr.gif) busy
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10:45 am - Getting it together? for : xwhenyouregonex
It's been two days since Lilah decided to just not come home. I'm worried about her sure, since there's an apocalypse going on, but I also know that she can take care of herself. Adian of course is a wreck he keeps asking for her, and I have to tell him that she's fine and that she'll be home soon. I of course have no idea how she is or if she plans on coming home anytime soon. Although with it still raining fire I'm sure she'll come home eventually.
After getting Aidan settled for bed I decided to make myself something small to eat, so I went into the kitchen and started to get the things I'd need out.
Current Location: our Kitchen
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/stressed_sr.gif) restless
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July 30th, 2007
11:11 am
Lilah as much as I hated to admit it; was right,she couldn't leave. At least not without Jacob going nuts and clinging to her and refusing to talk. I decided to give her a week to get Jacob to at the very least talk to us. I spent the next few days at the office and left Lilah to deal with our problem. I just hoped we'd be able to fix things with Jacob. I'd spent the last few nights trying to work on things with Lilah. So far we'd managed to make some progress, she was sleeping in the guest room, and thinking about getting a job here.
After I finished up at the office, and went home. I walked into the house and looked around for signs of Lilah or Jacob.
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11:11 am
After talking to Lilah I got in my truck and drove out to my favorite hillside cliff that looked down on the city. I parked the car and got out, leaving the keys in the ignition, and the radio on full blast, as I sat on the one bench that sat near the edge of the cliff. I sat therre with my eyes closed just thinking about how I'd ended up with Lilah at all in the first place. I knew one thing was still certian I still loved her, and Jacob needed her. I sat there just letting the music and the words wash over me.
"My house is no mansion
But it still holds my treasures
Things that will never be sold
Theres a few things in this world
That just can't be measured
By money, by silver and gold
My house is filled with the things that I love
From her smile in the mornin'
To her soft goodnight hugs
Her whisper, her laughter
Everything that she does
My house is filled with the things that I love
This old bed that we sleep on
Don't have satin covers
But it holds some great memories
No decorations can make better lovers
In her arms I feel like a king
My house is filled with the things that I love
From her smile in the mornin'
To her soft goodnight hugs
Her whisper, her laughter
Everything that she does
My house is filled with the things that l love
Yes, my house is filled with the things that I love"
As I listened to the song I had a small smile on my face. I took a deep breath and looked out at the lit up city a little longer, before getting into the truck and going home. Once I made it inside, I found her in the livingroom. Which meant Jacob had fallen asleep. I walked over to her and kissed her as passionately as possible.
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11:11 am
It took two days, but Lilah was on the first flight back to Los Angeles, and I was stuck trying to explain to Jacob why she left and when she'd be back. For the first day or so since she left Jacob complained and threw little tantrums. He wanted mommy back, I apparently didn't make his breakfest right, and I couldn't get him to eat whatever I made. I refused to give in and call Lilah so soon, besides she'd made it perfectly clear that she needed her space. So after arguing for half the morning I finally got jacob to eat his lucky charms cereal, and told him he could talk to mommy later tonight. Once breakfest was out of the way I got Jacob dressed and set up with his cartoons, while I showered and dressed. Once we were both ready I dropped him off at daycare and went to work. It wasn't until mid after noon that my phone rang, I let Jesse get it. "Hello, how may I help you?"
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11:10 am
After Lilah had left and dropped Jacob off at daycare I called melaine back and told her we needed to meet so we could talk. After that phone call I hung up, took a shower got dresed, and left a few voicemails for Lilah. After about an hour of not getting an answer from Lilah, I finally went to meet up with Melanie, at the place she'd chosen. I got in the car and drove to the address she'd given me. When I stopped the car and got out I sighed as I saw the sign for the motel. I found Melanie by the door to what I assumed was her hotel room. "What was so damn urgent that you had to keep calling all night, and put a fucking monkey wrench in my marriage?" I asked her as I got closer to where she was standing. I had no idea why out of everyone she could've called she had called me. Me, the guy she'd left because she found out about the firm, and what I really did for a living and she couldn't deal so she left.
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11:10 am
I never understood why my momma used to worry and fuss over me and my siblings. I was just a kid, the oldest of six kids and I was hell on wheels from the day I was born. She always told me that I was born to run and that I was never satisfied with what I had I always had to have more. Like when I was sixteen and I'd just gotten my license, three hours after I had that card I grabbed my friends and took a off for the open road, only to get stopped on a road just outside of some town in the middle of fucking nowhere. I'd gone before the judge who had a thing for making balloon animals. I'd stood in that little courtroom and tried to lie my way out of the speeding ticket, only to have the man tell me that I had two more years to be a kid and to enjoy it while it lasted, because kids grow up way too fast and that life was a speed trap. I never fully understood what he meant until now. Jacob turned two a few months ago and I can already tell he's going to be a handle full. I was driving home from work listening to the radio. I turned the radio on full blast as it started to play a song that reminded me of my childhood and my relationship with my parents.
"How he got that GI Joe in the church this morning
I don't know but he ain't listening to the preacher
Like his mama taught him to
She's wanting me to cross the aisle
Go, sit over there with him awhile
Make him turn around and sit up straight
Stop playing in the pew
To watch him is all that I can do
Cause I look at him and I see a boy
And I see trouble and I see joy
See innocence and headstrong
And a heart full of dreams
I look at him and I'm so amazed
I'm so proud and then sooo afraid
That the apple didn't fall quite far enough from the tree
Yeah I look at him and I see me
Already says when he grows up
He's gonna have a big ole truck
And I can see him getting stuck
On some private property
He'll take chances, he'll take dare's
And keep his mama and me scared to death
When he goes out at night
You know I'll bet we'll never sleep
I guess I get what my dad got from me
Cause' I look at him and I see a teen
Having fun doing stupid things
I see roadblocks I see mistakes
I see heartbreak he can't see
I look at him and I'm so amazed
I'm so proud and then sooo afraid
That the apple didn't fall quite far enough from the tree
Ohhh I look at him and I see me
I look at him and I see me
Breaking down one day
As he packs up all his things
To move awayyyyy
I look at him and I'm so amazed
I'm so proud and then sooo afraid
That the apple didn't fall quite far enough from the tree
Yeah I look at him and I see me"
I sang along with the song as I soon pulled into the driveway. We'd bought a small hose after I'd made some extra cash from working on a rich client's car. Lilah'd gone back to school onile for the time being, so that she could look after Jacob. I turned off the car and got out. It'd been a long day and all I wanted to do was have a drink and be able to realx with my wife and my son. I waljed into the house and was immediately pounced on by Jacob. "Dadda!" he yelled and wrapped himself around my right leg. I smiled as I reached down and picked him up. "So how was your day, did you behave for mommy?" He nodded, and I looked over at Lilah, who had come into the living room after him. She looked beautiful and a little tired. I set Jacob back down on the floor and walked over to her. "Hey" I kissed her.
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11:09 am
I was sleeping soundly and really just enjoying my dream, when I felt something smack me on the shoulder. I tried to ignore it and rolled over in my sleep. I really just wanted to stay in my very nice dream, in which Lilah was laying on the beach in nothing, but a black bikini and the waves were the only sound. We were the only two for miles on the white sandy beach, sipping margaritas and just soaking up sun. Yeah my dream was great, until I felt that same something smack me again, quickly followed by a "Lindsey wake up!" followed by another smack. I groaned in annoyance and rolled back over onto my side, and cracked one eyes slowly open, then the other. I blinked a few times until Lilah came into focus. "What is it? You ruined my perfectly good dream." I grumbled as I started to sit up, that's when I noticed the pain etched across her face. "What's wrong?" I asked her as I started to get up out bed.
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11:09 am
It's been three weeks since I found out that Lilah was pregnant, and since then things have changed dramatically. It's almost like it used be before I went to work for Angel, only you know minus the crazy food cravings, and obsessing over what color to paint the spare room, that she wants to make into a nursery. And we spent most of our nights and days off together in our bedroom, watching the huge plasma screen tv or just talking it was nice. I do have to admit though I'm loving Lilah being pregnant, well most days There are a few nights where I'm tired,but I still go out and get her food. Or the days when her mood swings from perfectly okay and calm to royally pissed off at me for the littlest thing. Sassy's become her little protector though, she hisses at me on occasion when I try to come near Lilah sometimes.
I'd just gotten home around eleven with Lilah's latest food craving, peanut butter and Cherry Garcia ice cream. I wasn't even sure if she'd still be awake, but I also had a nice brusie to show for not brining home food last week so I'd learned my lesson and had food this time. I walked into the apartment and looked around for her. "Lilah?" I noticed Sassy as I walked into the kitchen and started to put the ice cream away.
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11:08 am
It's been two whole months since I shot up the boardroom and told Nathan Reed just what he could do with his damn promotion. I'd been a little worried about the Senior Partners finding out about my relationship with Lilah, which I'd found out they already knew about it they just didn't seem to care. So I walked out of that boardroom with every intention of leaving this god foresaken city. I'd gone home and started packing up everything I owned,when an hour into the packing process Lilah showed up and convinced me not to leave town. So after hours of arguing about it and then making up I finally agreed to stay. I eventually moved into her bigger more spacious apartment with her, after some intial proding on Lilah's part.
Things were a bit rocky at first,but we soon managed to find a steady routine. And we also had a few ground rules now that I was working for Angel and crew,which hadn't been an easy in. It took me over five weeks with some help from Lilah and Cordelia to get Angel to agree to hire me. Anyway our main ground rule was that we didn't discuss work in detail, it was only talked about in broad general terms such as how was your day? Or how was work? The second ground rule was that I did most of the cooking, since Lilah kept claiming that she couldn't cook. I'd offered to teach her numerous times,which she declined. She'd decided that ever since that one weekend when I made her breakfest in bed that I was the house cook, which I was fine with. Lilah and I both had some late nights, where one would sometimes wait up for the other one. Despite my boss I was happy with my new line of work, and only endured a small amount of teasing from Lilah.
On the first anniversary of our relationship that was about a month ago I surprised Lilah with an adorable organe tabby kitten, which she had yet to name. Yeah things were good for me and Lilah still had her pretty things and high priced lifestyle. I'd managed to duck out of the office early today with little complaint. I'd grabbed some folders to take with me on my way out the door. I walked into the apartment looking for signs that Lilah was home,I didn't see any. "Lilah?" I called out as I walked through the loft apartment we shared. I put my bag, car keys, and coat away and continued my search for Lilah or the kitten.
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May 28th, 2007
12:21 pm - Trying to get through to her ...
I'd change and made it to Ricky's and set up in record time. The place was pretty full and the smokey atmoshphere was just perfect as was the lighting. I'd set myself up on the lone bar stool on the stage and looked through thr songs on Ricky's list and told him no I had the perfect one in mind just for Lilah. I waited until the place was pretty full and the lights were dimmed, before I got on the stage. I waited a second for the music to play.
"You've been living way too long,
In broken-promise land.
Your dreams crushed an' scattered,
Like a million grains of sand.
I'd love to be your redemption,
But I am just a man,
I may never be a hero.
But I'm a rock you can lean on.
If I don't love you like you deserve;
If I dont stop every tear you're cryin';
If I dont make your life,
A Heaven on this earth,
I'll die tryin'.
I'll die tryin'.
I'll listen to your secret prayer,
An' share your deepest wish;
Search for a hundred years,
Just to find the perfect kiss.
Of everything within my power,
There's nothin' i wont give,
To be that part of you an' your life,
Oh, that takes what's wrong an' makes it right.
If I don't love you like you deserve;
If i don't stop every tear you're cryin';
If I dont make your life,
A heaven on this earth,
I'll die tryin'.
I'll die tryin'.
I may never be a hero,
But I'm a rock you can lean on.
If I don't love you like you deserve;
If I don't stop every tear you're cryin';
If I don't make your life,
A Heaven on this earth,
I'll die tryin'.
Oh, I'll die tryin'.
I'll die tryin'." I didn't look up to find Lilah, I just gave in to the rush I got whenever I was up on stage and let the music fully wash over me. I knew she'd easily come find me if she wanted to talk, this was the only thing I could think of as a big guesture to get her to see what everyone else, and to see that they were right. Granted it'd taken me a little while to figure it out,but I knew for her it tended to take longer, I just hoped she didn't run away after this.
Current Mood: hopeful
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